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(TV) Greg returns to the Grammy's



Okay, after numerous (three) requests to offer a
sequel to Greg goes to the Grammy's here it is...like
all sequels, not a lot of effort is going into this
and it is sure to disappoint.

10:21 - I'm late, some people are spinning on their
heads to a musician I do not recognize...

Oh, there's Tom, got a stick up my ass, Hanks.  Life
is like a box of chocalates and you never know what
you are going to get, same thing goes for the Grammy's
I guess.  The Band get's a lifetime achievment award
and we go straight to Ringo and Yoko for a Beatles
tribute.  Now I am no Producer of any note but that
was a bad segue.  

Some weird skit on Across the Universe, gotta go make
a sandwhich,

Back - and here is where my ace reporting skills save
my tardy ass, some kid who must have been on American
Idol and Nell Carter are singing Let it Be.  I could
make a bad pun but I won't, I'll just let it be, aww
shit I did it.

Hey it's funny guy Jason Bateman with a Foo Fighters
contest.  Woo hoo, the foo fighters were enlisted by
Mr. T on Robot Chicken to "go fight foo's" cause they
are foo fighters and then they beat up people with
their guitars.  If you do not get this, pretend you
are Mr. T and say "listen fool" If you do not know
what Robot Chicken is you seriously need to quit
reading this and go to youtube and look up Robot
Chicken.  Jason Batemean sucks and looks like he's ad
libbing, are the writers still on strike...

Coming up we have 8 time grammy winners....

I got really tense at this moment, how many Grammy's
has Bono won, can it be him, please be Bono, Bono save
the show...no it is not Bono it's Fergie and John
Legend cause Bono has won like a million or so
Grammy's.  Fergie and John sing a song and then
provide an award for best compilation album.  I never
knew such an award existed, I used to make great mixed
tapes for my girlfriend but I never won an award. 
Speaking of John Legend, did you know he has a new Cd
out, and it is only available at Target, that's living
up to your name Mr. Legend.

Anyways, Ringo and George Martin accept the award, we
are seeing a lot of Ringo tonight, is he this years
Bono, lets see - square shades (check), goofy joke and
some pointing (check, check) a non-American accent
(okay that is a stretch but check) and a dull as cold
Pork and Beans side kick, George Martin as the Edge
who get's to make an obligatory statement (check).  I
miss Bono so much.

Cher, surprisingly dressed appropriatly, can't perform
tonight as she is retired but Beyonce sure can. 
Beyonce sings about the greatness of Aretha Franklin
in the same Vein as ABC sang about Smokey Robinson in
the bridge of where smokey sings (obscure reference,
youtube it - I am sponsored by youtube btw).  In
another odd segue, Beyonce, tributing Aretha Franklin,
is joined by Tina Turner to sing Tina Turner songs. 
This is so fucked up.  Honor the band and feature
Beatles songs, honor Aretha and bring out Tina in a
tube top. As she dances her boobs precariously
threaten to tumble out, I really hope this does not
happen.  Oh no, Tina and Beyonce make slight lesbian
overtones during the intro to Proud Mary.  Sandwhich
isn't sitting well, it's not the lesbian overtones,
this show is just so bad. 

Okay, lot's of songs, little banter, obviously the
writers are on strike.  More senior citizen tributes,
must be an honor thy past show that I missed during
the first 21 minutes I missed.  

The b-list honor role continues, Andy Williams, the
Foo Fighters take the stage, and then George Lopez. 
No Bono, more Amy Winehouse, who will perform, just
not here, teasers.  It's obvious that no one will
cross the picket line other than the washed ups.  as
the Comic Guy on the Simpsons said, worst show ever
and my worst review ever.  Honestly with this crap,
you can't make anything up that is that funny.  Oh
what's this, Kid Rock and a very old lady with a dye
job, Keely Smith announce the Foo Fighters win
something over stiff competition of Bruce Springsteen
and Wilco (token nominee).  Holy shit all hell is
breaking loose, Kid Rock slips Keely the tongue then
screams "Fuck you Pam, fuck you" and runs off the
stage, crying!  Doesn't he have hep C or is that Tommy
Lee or am I thinking of Brett Michaels? The camera
pulls away and Britney spears is caught in the
audience wearing nothing but a straight jacket and no
panties.  Oh it's awful, awful, mercifully we cut to a
35'rs somethings commercial where they are trying to
figure out how to pop a little keg of beer.  What's
this a commercial for, worlds lamest kegger party?

Back on at the Grammy's and trouble continues to
ensue, Amy Winehouse isn't really cracked up to what
she could be, spelling ratings disaster, so they
accidently clip to the youtube video of her with a
pipe of unknown origin smoking tobacco or something,
Amy is swearing on the overseas head cam or something
I think but she isn't speaking english, it's British
or something.  American TV usually plays subtitles
when the British, Irish or Scottish speak (note the
slick TV reference, do I mean Television or Tom
Verlaine - see now it's not off topic).  Amy's
boyfriend looks so sad, so does Amy.  This couple has
problems that they can hopefully work out.  Bryan
Adams, the Dr. Phil of rock stars, was counselling Amy
at his Bermuda mansion while Amy's BF was in prison. 
If anyone can save them, Bryan Adams can, or Bono. 
Actually strike that, I'd call Bono.
Ringo comes out again and hands Vince Gill an award. 
Ringo is the new Bono.  Some more pointing and
scrambled thoughts, "LSD was just as brain damaging as
crack Amy," he slurs.  

Lot's of country happening here tonight, C&W artists
do not need writers as their videos are there home
movies set to music, don't believe, goto youtube and
search under country videos.

Aretha's here, pre-cast of course.  And finally,
Herbie Hancock takes home the final award, it's all a
sham Herbie

(Editors note: It appears Greg quit watching aprox 1h
20 min into the show and fabricated some parts of the
review from the Grammy highlight site)

All in all, it was hard to dance to, Ringo is no Bono,
Amy is no Britny, I give this a big thumbs down and
this review was awful.  
Good night.



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